Dylan's Interrogation
by Yvey009
Summary: I interrogate Dylan. Includes falling down wells, mobs, Rebecca Black, firey pits, and other forms of torture. Ideas and suggestions are accpectable. You might even get mentioned in a Chapter.
1. Interrogated

**Chapter 1: Interrogated**

**~I don't own James Patterson or Dylan**

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*October 11th, 2009. White Room in the Character Mansion. AKA the Interrogation Room. Suspect: Dylan, just Dylan*

Dylan: Who are you?

Me: Name here a classified matter. But, you can call me Yvey.

Dylan: Y-Vay?

Me: *Headslap* No. Yvey. Like the name Eve with a Y at the end. Get it?

Dylan: *Shakes head in a NO fashion* Sure?

Me: It doesn't matter Dylan. The question of the matter here is, why do you insist on being Max's so called "Other Perfect Half?"

Dylan: I don't insist. I am what James Patterson wrote me to be. *Looking questionably around the white expanse leading to nothing in the room*

Me: Right? But can't you see you are causing a BIG problem in book #6?

Dylan: What problem?*Full attention towards Yvey*

Me: The one where you come in and join the Flock and tell Max that you were made to be her "Other Half." And then you and Max get together, while Fang is waiting to see if he really is going to die.

Dylan: That's no problem. If Fang dies, then I'm there for Max.

Me: Ugh! You still don't understand.

Dylan: Understand what?

Me: Poor Fang has to deal with him-self dying. Now you too. Plus the fact that your practically stealing Max from him and the millions of problems that'll occur with Fangirls all over the world.

Dylan: Hey! If you got a problem with the storyline, go tell your best friend "Jimmy P." He's the one that made me.

Me: He's not my best friend, okay? I just like his books. Plus, I don't know how to get in contact with him? Every time I try a new plot hole or twist gets in the way. That man needs a serious course in 'How to Right a Story 101.'

Dylan: Well, what do you want me to do? I'm just a fictional character he writes about. He doesn't really go about telling me about his life.

Me: Or does he?

Dylan: *?*

Me: Why don't you make yourself useful and go die in a well.

Dylan: No! Why would I do that?

Me: Because If you don't, I will. *Gives a death stare*

Dylan: Wait, why?

Me: *Walks up closer and closer towards Dylan slowly*

Dylan: *Puts hands out* Hey! We can make this work! *Backs away* No, stop! Don't get closer!

Me: I'm sorry Dylan but I'm a very unhappy, crazy, and confused Fangirl. Goodbye! *Well pops out magically from behind Dylan. He gets pushed in*

Dylan: *Echoes down* Noooooooooo !

*Interrogated suspect cause of death: Unknown*

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***Sigh* If only it was that easy. Well, if Fang dies and Dylan stays and loves Max, this is going to be a very unhappy book. If you think I'm wrong about the whole "Dylan + Max" thing, I'm sorry. This story is my opinion. Plus, I might change what I think about Dylan after I read the book.**

**R&R! Would like to know what you think about Dylan.**

**~Yvey009**


	2. Fangirl Mob

**Chapter 2: Fangirl Mob -**

**So ? I read the reviews and they're all awesome. All you guys agree, which is good. I read one review by: Blissful-x-Optimism which got me thinking of another chapter. So here you go!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the story 'I Exist' Support Group'. Which I kind of used the plot ending to help my story.**

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**_Recap:_**

_(Me: I'm sorry Dylan but I'm a very unhappy, crazy, and confused Fangirl. Goodbye! *Well pops out magically from behind Dylan. He gets pushed in*_

_Dylan: *Echoes down* Noooooooooo !)_

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Dylan: *Screams out* Why am I still falling!

Unknown Source: What? You don't like falling?

Dylan: What, who was that?

Unknown Source: Silly little boy, it's me Yvey!

Dylan: *Dylan slows down. Yvey pops next to him* What are you doing here? I thought you pushed me down to die?

Me: Hahaha! You didn't think you were gona die that easily, did you? I mean you'd fall to the bottom break some bones and die slowly and alone.

Dylan: Well I guess you do have a point. Wait, I'm still gona die?

Me: Maybe, maybe not.

Dylan: Oh that helps a lot. Why are we still falling?

Me: This well is actually a portal I use to get to places, but sense you don't like falling fast its gona take awhile to get there.

Dylan: Go where?

Me: You ask so many questions. Well, bye! *Disappears*

Dylan: Wait! Wha *Starts falling faster* Ahhhhh !

*Bottom shows with glinting spikes*

Dylan: NO! I don't want to die like this! *Closer and closer.*

Dylan: What? *Opens eyes. Standing in a white room, again.* Where am I?

Me: *Floating* Hahaha! You thought you were gona die. *Waves a paper in air* You should see your face. See I took a picture.

Dylan: What! Give me that! *Tries to get picture*

Me: *Holds back* Nope. Plus it's up to them to decide. *Point to mob of Fangirls*

*A group of angry Fangirls come running into the room circling around Dylan.*

Kara: Die Dylan Die!

Saint: Pay for what you're doing to the book.

Me: Haha! Looks like your not gonna get that picture. Time for the Weapons!

*With a snap of her fingers weapons appeared in all the girls' hands. Herring, Minkles, sporks and tasers. Daggers, mace and... Lacey panties?*

Me: *Trusty camera in hand.* Get him!

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**That was fun to write. The ending is from another story but I fit so good I had to put it in.**

**So review if you want another chapter. It might include a firey pit. Ideas and suggestions are accpectable. You might even get mentioned in the next Chapter.**

**~Yvey009**


	3. Rebecca Black Attack

**Chapter 3: Rebecca Black Attack**

**~I don't own the song 'Friday.' Nor would I like to.**

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_**Recap:**_

_Me: Haha! Looks like your not gonna get that picture. Time for the Weapons!_

_*With a snap of her fingers weapons appeared in all the girls' hands. Herring, Minkles, sporks and tasers. Daggers, mace and... Lacey panties?*_

_Me: *Trusty camera in hand.* Get him!_

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*Dylan being battered and brusied by weapons*

Dylan: AHHHH! Stop, please!

Fangirl Mob: Never!

Me: *Taking pictures while talking to self* This is so much fun. *Sigh* But I feel kind of bad for him.

Fangirls: *Stops what they're doing. Turns toward Yvey.* Kind of?

Me: *To self* Damn their great hearing.

Fangirls: 'Kind of' is unacceptable. *Walking closer, ready to attack*

Me: Oh dear. Ummmm... Ah-ha! *Claps hands* Rebecca!

*Rebecca Black appears with her band*

Rebecca: _It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend..._

*Fangirls cover their ears, sqealing in horror and pain towards the awful music*

Me: *Yelling over the music to Dylan* Run!

Dylan: What about the sun!

Me: *Headslap*

*Music fades out and Rebecca and her band disappear*

Me: Stupid 30 second preview. Itunes never really helps.

Dylan: Hello? The Mob.

*Mob starts to unphase from their Friday torture session*

Me: Run Dylan, like the Whitecoats injected cheetah into you!

*Dylan runs like a little girl. Fangirls run after. Yvey floating by taking pictures.*

Dylan: *Speaking out of breath* You know... I thought... Rebecca's song... Wasn't all that bad.

Me: *Shocked* What? Are you crazy? Wait, don't answer that. *Stops in mid-air and claps hands. A pit 5 feet away from Dylan forms.*

Me: And to think, I pitied you.

Dylan: What? *Runs right into hole, falling.* Nooottt agaaiinn!

*Hole to pit closes up*

Dylan: *Frantically flapping his arms in the black expance of space* Wait, I have wings.

*But Dylan gets wrapped up in a rope, dangling from a firey pit*

Me: *Pops up floating next to Dylan, taking his picture* Your face right now is so 'Laugh Out Loud' material.

Dylan: Is that fire? What happened to my wings? What's on my head? Why do you keep doing this to me?

Me: Woah there Nudge 2. Slow down with the questions. *Clears throat*

Yes that is fire, that's the entrance to Hell, your wings were clipped for security purposes, you have lacey underwear on your head, purple flowery ones to be exact, and because of your lack of musical knowledge and the fact that I'm not done interrogating is why you're still here.

_To be continued..._

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**So after a year on 'High School Hiatus,' I have time to write 'cause it's Summer Break. I've decided to come back to FanFiction and finish my stories.**

**My favorite line in this story is, "Run Dylan, like the Whitecoats injected cheetah into you!" I thought it was funny. ****I don't know where this story is going. I just****  
think of random things to do to Dylan and write it down. **

**Another name for this chapter was _'Blackapocalypse.'_**

**So review if you want another chapter. Ideas and suggestions are accpectable. You might even get mentioned in the next Chapter.**

**~Yvey009**


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